2022.01.24 17:29 bananasplit0209 ERA
Going on my third FET. It was recommended to me to have an ERA before my third transfer. I’m just curious if most people had successful transfers after finding out their receptivity was off from the ERA and then making that change made the difference.
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2022.01.24 17:29 winow49 Fears to Fathom Norwood Hitchhike Episode 2
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2022.01.24 17:29 procryptoclass Shiba Inu Enters the Metaverse as SHIB Price Recovers from Intraday Low
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2022.01.24 17:29 CelebBattleVoteBot Kendall Jenner vs Jennifer Lopez
2022.01.24 17:29 Daemon1997 No Manga spoilers please. What is Eren's plan in anime? Why he wants the power of founding Titan?
2022.01.24 17:29 lh7884 Trudeau says Conservatives stoking fear over Canada’s trucker vaccine mandate. Prime minister says claims that Covid-19 measure will disrupt supply chain and boost inflation are ‘fearmongering’
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2022.01.24 17:29 nasKo_zomboid 2e41234124
2022.01.24 17:29 Clean-Program157 Pose of a brunette with curly hair [21F]
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2022.01.24 17:29 FranseVB https://youtu.be/gWeUiDmE-5U
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2022.01.24 17:29 WolfHammer3000 Is she trying to tell us something?
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2022.01.24 17:29 Oberael Lockjaw from Marvel Crisis Protocol by Atomic Mass Games
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2022.01.24 17:29 dunyunrings Some human villager portraits I did by request a while back!
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2022.01.24 17:29 throwaway755533 Lies and sex work form wife (32F)
Hi reddit, I (40M) got married to my wife (32F) last year. When we first started dating she told me she used to be stripper and the last time she worked was a couple of years ago. I had mixed feelings about sex work. I don't believe in it and don't really want to have a partner that was involved with it. However, since everything else seemed to match on paper and knowing that any hangups I had are a me issue and not a reflection on her I decided to continue to pursue the relationship. She asked whether or not that it was something I would be able to handle and I answered that I don't really know.
Fast forward several months. I have occasional intrusive thoughts regarding sex work but I manage to mostly keep them in check. On occasion I voice my insecurities to my (at the time) girlfriend. One thing leads to another and I find out that she actually lied about the last time she worked and that it was actually a few months before we started dating. That hurt me real bad. I suppose time shouldn't make a difference but when I was under the impression that it occurred several years ago I felt like it was completely in her past. But when I found out that she had been lying to me, on numerous occasions (I brought up my suspicions several times) I felt betrayed. She refused to understand why the last time she worked has any bearing and that I shouldn't let it bother me. The fact that she lied to me struck a chord as I have been lied to consistently in my previous relationships. Honestly is paramount.
A few months before the lie was discovered I asked her whether or not she ever was ever involved in prostitution. She very confidently said no. While I didn't express at the moment that that would be a deal breaker for me, I did stress that the question was important to me and that I really needed an honest answer. After she answered I dropped it and never brought it back up.
At some point she was reading a journal entry to me and I happened to glance over and read a few disturbing things (I have eagle eyes and can read very fast due to years of watching foreign language movies with subtitles). What was in her journal entry made me want to vomit. It mentioned clients in hotel rooms coming on her breasts. I didn't know what to think but I sat on the information for a month before I confronted her. When I finally did confront her about it she told me that it was a mistake, or a typo and that nothing like that ever occurred. It was a very rough night but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Going back to the first issue. A few months after the journal entry conundrum it was revealed that the last time she worked was actually a few months before we started dating. An accusation that I lobbed at her that she continued to refute. Eventually evidence came to light that she couldn't deny and she admitted to dancing recently. I felt devastated because at this point I feel like I'm being gaslit and that my relationship is being built on a bed of lies.
We get a therapist involved, couples and individual and we work through our issues. She assures me she hid the truth because she was afraid of how I was going to react. We eventually worked through it and while it still bothers me I've tried to move on from it.
Fast forward to the wedding. We had an agreement that we would share all the traumas that we've experienced throuhgout our lives. I have never been an open book but I have no problem discussing with my future wife anything she needed to feel comfortable and knowledgeable about the man she was going to marry. So we go through our list of traumas. They were difficult, to say the least, but we managed to get through them. We had a wonderful wedding and went from there.
I allowed myself to be completely vulnerable and shared all of my trauma and my darkest moments with my wife, which was her condition. Likewise, she was going to do the same.
Several months after we got married, in therapy, she decided to confess a whole set of lies. From the benign to the significant. She trickle truthed me over the course of a month, several therapy sessions. She lied about having slept with someone that was in her life at the beginning of our relationship. She lied about having been a prostitute. She confessed that she was a prostitute and a sugar baby but she didn't actually go through with it even though she did meet up with one client. She confessed that she lied about some details regarding her male best friend even though due to insecurity she pushed my female friend out of my life.
Now my insecurities are growing. I'm so anxious all the type, I've started abusing benzos to just shut my mind off. I am in a very demanding job and I am also going to school in a very demanding subject. All of this has taken such a mental toll on me and I don't feel like I want to continue living. I want to talk to my wife about how I feel and my insecurities but whenever I bring them up she gets upset. Not necessarily at me I don't think but the fact that all of this happened and it tarnished what began as a beautiful relationship.
I don't know what advice I'm looking for, I go to therapy regularly, I have a psychiatrist and have tried several different antidepressants and anxiolytics. I just feel so sad and I don't feel like I can trust her. She tells me the prostitution was a one time thing and that she was basically forced but from some things that I have noticed and observed it seems like it was actually a regular thing that she did. The fact that shes hiding it from me and didn't tell me about it until after we got married makes me feel like I didn't have the choice to decide whether or not I'm okay with it.
I just don't know what to do, I feel so hurt and betrayed.
For the sake of transparency, I have had several mental breakdowns over her sex work and I have said some unkind things to her when I had very overwhelming feelings of insecurity. I have apologized for my lapses in judgement and we have discussed her concerns with me during couples therapy. I take full responsibility for not treating her the way she deserves and I am continuing to work on being a better person. It is hard, however, when I feel like I am still being lied to. Whenever I ask about prostitution she says that nothing more happened but my gut tells me otherwise. This whole relationship my gut has told me one thing, she has convinced me out of it, only to find out several months later that my gut was right. Reddit, I need some words of comfort or for someone to slap me in the face. Sorry for the long rant.
TLDR: Wife has lied about several aspects of her past regarding sex work and a few other "benign" things.
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2022.01.24 17:29 Darky_5 Are you also annoyed by the huge of bugs in the game?
2022.01.24 17:29 Jack_n_trade what are you even doing here?
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2022.01.24 17:29 Super_Chip Lol
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2022.01.24 17:29 Proof_Ad7487 Make every day your bitch!!!
2022.01.24 17:29 Morgan-992 EASY TO CLEAN, CARE FOR AND MAINTAIN — Turn Over Pillow moistureproof coat can be soaked with a soft wet cloth to wipe, sponge body can use neutral detergent and clean water, Allow to dry, put the moisture-proof jacket on before use.
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2022.01.24 17:29 riseyyy Going for that luxury car interior look
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2022.01.24 17:29 Snap_Zoom 'What it looks like when the rule of law unravels:' Liz Cheney fired back at Newt Gingrich for suggesting jailing members of the Jan 6 panel
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2022.01.24 17:29 clicked_3635 Is it possible to connect the app VOLT workouts with Garmin connect?
2022.01.24 17:29 lexxiskybabe Happy Monday 🥰
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2022.01.24 17:29 BoltFlower Does this make it more palatable?
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2022.01.24 17:29 screwyoushadowban How did modern policing develop in Japan and Korea? Did Japanese/Korean police forces adopt late 19th/early 20th c. European practices by large degrees or did they mostly refine and update their own traditions, practices, and norms?
2022.01.24 17:29 sandbag4 Lord Vile vs Lord Vile
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